Take the Stage: Leadership Confidence That Builds Trust and Connection
Take the Stage: Leadership Confidence That Builds Trust and Connection
June 17, 2026
Wednesday 1:00 p.m.-2:00 p.m. ET
Key takeaways
- Exploring who you truly are is the first step toward “playing you” in your career and life.
- Embracing incremental change is key to making a career move, reinventing yourself or pursuing a dream.
- An actor’s mindset can help you manage impostor syndrome, which can undermine creativity and innovation.
- Communication creates connection across environments, from in-person to remote work.
- Closing the gap between your personal, professional and social selves can result in greater believability and confidence in all areas.
Pam Sherman – actor, writer, leadership consultant and lawyer – joined us for a practical session on showing up with trust and powerful presence at work. Learn to close the believability gap, quiet impostor syndrome and use storytelling to lead with more humanity. Pam shared tools from her new book, Play You, the Role of a Lifetime, including acting-based techniques, to help you build credibility, connect deeply and communicate with confidence.
Pam Sherman shared insights from her book, Play You, the Role of a Lifetime.

Host
Joan Woodward
President, Travelers Institute; Executive Vice President, Public Policy, Travelers
Watch webinar replay
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Slide, Text, Wednesdays with Woodward (registered trademark) Webinar Series. An open laptop displays the opening slide. Logos, Travelers Institute (registered trademark), Travelers. Joan Woodward, President, Travelers Institute; Executive Vice President, Public Policy, Travelers.
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JOAN: Hello, everyone, and welcome. Thank you so much for joining us today. I'm Joan Woodward, and I have the pleasure of leading the Travelers Institute, which, as you all know, is the public policy and educational arm of Travelers. Welcome to Wednesdays with Woodward.
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Text, About Travelers Institute (registered trademark) Webinars. The Wednesdays with Woodward (registered trademark) educational webinar series is presented by the Travelers Institute, the public policy division of Travelers. This program is offered for informational and educational purposes only. You should consult with your financial, legal, insurance or other advisors about any practices suggested by this program. Please note that this session is being recorded and may be used as Travelers deems appropriate.
(SPEECH)
We've got a great program for you today. But before we jump in, I want to start with a quick disclaimer about today's program. I also want to apologize. Last week, we had some technical difficulties from the National Hurricane Center webinar. But we have that replay, and we'll be sending that around. So we apologize for those who had to wait on the line for a few moments.
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Text, Take the Stage: Leadership Confidence That Builds Trust and Connection. Logos, Travelers Institute (registered trademark), Travelers, Insurance Association of Connecticut (IAC,) Master's in Financial Technology (FinTech) Program at the University of Connecticut School of Business, MetroHartford Alliance, Big I Independent Insurance Agents & Brokers of America.
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Today, I'd like to also thank our webinar partners, the MetroHartford Alliance, the Master's in FinTech Program at UConn, the Insurance Association of Connecticut and the Big I. Let's get started.
I'm thrilled to introduce our guest today. She's an actor, a leadership consultant, a recovering lawyer-- her words, not mine-- a nationally syndicated columnist and now the author of a brand-new book that I think is going to change the way you think about showing up in your career and your life.
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Pam Sherman smiles in a photo beside text, Today's Speaker, Pam Sherman, Leadership Consultant, Author, "Play You, the Role of a Lifetime."
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Most importantly, folks, she's a great, longtime friend. And we've known each other since college, so we can tell some stories.
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In a photo, Pam and Joan wear formal dresses and pose together with big smiles.
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Please welcome to the stage Pam Sherman, author of Play You, the Role of a Lifetime. Pam, it is so great to have you here. I'm so thrilled to now call you a published author on top of all your other titles and achievements.
PAM: Thank you so much, Joan. It's incredible to be here.
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Joan and Pam appear in split screen. Pam adjusts her microphone.
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JOAN: So before we dive in, I want to give everyone a lay of the land. Pam has a very short opening presentation. Then we're going to have a discussion with some real, practical wisdom about leadership and showing up at your best. We're also going to leave time for questions at the end. So start dropping those questions in the Q&A. Pam, the virtual floor is yours.
PAM: Thank you so much, Joan. I am so honored to be here with such an auspicious group of people. I have to say, I have a great love for the insurance industry.
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A book's cover includes text, Play You, The Role of a Lifetime. Bridge the Believability Gap to Boost Your Confidence, Connection, and Impact. Pam Sherman. (copyright) Pam Sherman 2026. The Travelers Institute, Explore, Dream, Grow and Excite (registered trademark.)
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The work that you do is so important for businesses and for personal lives. And what you do is super important. And how you show up for others during times of challenge, I think, makes you the most believable people that we need. And I'll share some stories about that.
So as Joan said, the book is Play You, the Role of a Lifetime. And my business is called The Edge. And I wanted to start with this concept about what The Edge is.
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A landscape photo of Cape Town, South Africa displays small and large buildings alike throughout the city, as Table Mountain towers in the distance. Text, (copyright) Pam Sherman, 2026.
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People ask me why I called my business The Edge. And well, I do because my husband says I'm very edgy because I'm from Staten Island, New York, and he's from Geneva, New York, not Switzerland.
But it's ironic that I call my business Edge because, honestly, I'm terrified of all edges. Bunny hills scare me. But a few years ago, I was asked to speak in this beautiful city. The picture is of Cape Town, South Africa. And I decided to go outside of my comfort zone because the whole time I was there, people kept asking me, have you been to the top of Table Mountain? It's so beautiful. You need to go hiking up there or take the funicular.
And I kept saying, no, no, no. I can't do it. I was speaking in the tallest building in downtown Cape Town. And I was eye to eye with that mountain. And I realized, if I was going to believe in myself, I had to push myself to the edge. And if I'm going to tell other leaders that they need to go to the edge, I had to do it myself.
And so at the end of that trip, I went out to the edge of Table Mountain. I took that funicular up high.
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In a photo, Pam stands on the edge of Table Mountain, overlooking the city below. She stands with arms raised high toward the blue sky above her. Text, (copyright) Pam Sherman, 2026.
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And I closed my eyes. And I'm going to be honest, when I stopped screaming and opened them, I could see the horizon and, suddenly, all these incredible possibilities. I took a deep breath. I centered myself.
I did have a bungee cord. My family was standing behind me. I like to say, it could have gone either way, depending on how they felt about me, but it went the right way that day. It was an incredible vista. And I think we're living in a time where there are so many possibilities that when we want to meet those possibilities in the time we're in right now, we have to have moments where we reclaim our believability. And that's essentially what the book is about.
But my story doesn't start on the top of a mountain.
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Text, My Story.
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It actually starts in the second grade.
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As a little girl, Pam smiles in a black and white photo. Text, (copyright) Pam Sherman, 2026. Quote, Little Girls with dreams become women with vision. Unknown.
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This is actually me. Gosh, she was delightful, wasn't she? I used to dream in the second grade-- with the door wide open, I would play piano and hope that a wandering talent agent would hear me sing and cast me on Broadway. But they don't wander the streets of Staten Island. And actually, I can't sing. And I come from a very traditional family.
So instead, I decided to go to law school.
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As a young adult, Pam stands at a lectern in a classroom. Text, My Ill-Fitting Suit.
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I really thought it was going to be like being a lawyer on TV. Of course it's not. This was in the days of LA Law, which was super exciting. And a funny thing happened on the way to my secure profession. I really started to feel like I was wearing what I call an ill-fitting suit. This is actually a picture of me in my actual ill-fitting suit, but it was metaphorical.
I didn't feel as creative. I had lost my confidence. I didn't feel like I could solve problems effectively. I wasn't showing up in a way that would make a difference for my clients in the best possible way. And I would actually shut the door and stare at the ceiling and wonder how I was going to do it.
But I decided to take a leap, and I went off to an acting class, to my first love. And in that acting studio, while I was practicing law, I realized that actors were doing something truly special. They weren't pretending in that room, but they were taking their audiences on a journey of believability. They were working deeply on their characters. They were understanding who they were, what's important to them, their throughline, the backstory that will help them create a vision story for the future. And they were working together in a creative collaboration that really was amazing to watch.
And in doing so, I suddenly started to feel more confident. I went back to the office. My favorite moment was when a client said, when did you make partner? I had not made partner. And then my life was changed, and my career was changed because out of nowhere, that law firm, my secure profession, decided to fold.
And while I had the opportunity to go to other law firms, I really took a leap, and I decided to become a full-time working actor in Washington, D.C.
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In a photo, Pam smiles while holding tribal-inspired smiling and frowning drama masks. Text, (copyright) Pam Sherman, 2026. My story was featured in People magazine on June 1, 1998.
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I was really lucky because I got to do film and television, and I was featured in People magazine for my story of ditching my day job to pursue my dreams.
And I got a call. And it was from the head of training in the Antitrust Division of the Department of Justice. And this is how I remember the phone call. I remember she said, can you help make my lawyers more interesting? And I said, no, I don't think I can.
But I thought about it. And I thought, well, what's a lawyer trying to do? They're trying to be influential, persuasive. Obviously, they want to win, but they have to be a great storyteller. And they have to do it with the facts and the law in order to make a difference for their audience and for their audience to believe them.
And then I realized, in that moment, that what I had been living in for all of those years was what I call the believability gap.
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Text, The Believability Gap.
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By becoming a better actor and studying acting fully, I realized that acting-- and this is the definition I live by-- is the ability to behave truthfully in given imaginary circumstances. This is a great quote from Sanford Meisner.
And if you think about it, isn't this what we want from our leaders? We're all given the circumstances that we're given, but we have to be able to behave in a way that will make a difference for our scene partners-- that's our colleagues-- for our community, for those we wish to impact, lead and serve. And to do that, we have to solve any gap that we have internally that may stop us from believing in ourselves, because it will affect our audience's ability to believe in us.
So the definition of the believability gap-- it's the gap between who you fundamentally are and who you think you're supposed to be. That was me, thinking I had to show up like my idea of a lawyer instead of being myself. And it's the gap between who you fundamentally are and how you're perceived by others. One is internal. One is external. And you have to solve for both in order to make a difference and connect more deeply with your audiences and truly be you and play you.
This discovery and the work I've been doing has taken me all over the world, working with leaders from Cincinnati to Saudi Arabia, from Milwaukee to Morocco, and every place in between.
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Four photos capture Pam posing alongside and interacting with business professionals in both Eastern and Western styles of dress. Text, (copyright) Pam Sherman, 2026. Leaders All Over the World.
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And leaders all over the world are looking for what you're looking for. How can I connect more deeply with myself, understand who I am? How can I understand my audiences and make a difference for them? I want to dream and truly change the world with who I am. And I want to understand the stories of the past that can make a difference.
Through all of this work that I do, and I'm lucky enough to do as a leadership coach and consultant with teams and individuals, people always ask me, have I seen you? So I do feel I need to share. If you have seen the movie The Replacements, I had the famous part of playing the shocked mom.
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In a photo from The Replacements, 2000, Pam's jaw drops. She covers a boy's eyes as they sit together in a sports stadium. Text, (copyright) Pam Sherman, 2026. Have I seen you?
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Feel free to just Google that. You can find me. And then, as Joan shared, I was a syndicated columnist for 15 years on the USA Today Network.
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In two photos, Pam wears her hair in a short, curly, vintage-inspired style. She poses with a photo of Erma Bombeck as well as one of Bombeck's books. Text, Erma Bombeck: At Wit's End.
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I wrote a column called The Suburban Outlaw. And my hero was a woman that many of you may not have heard of, but her name was Erma Bombeck. And she wrote from Dayton, Ohio, from an ironing board in the 1960s all the way through the 1990s about what it was like to be a wife and mother. She was the original of Play You.
Going back into a rehearsal studio and playing Erma eight years ago, after I hadn't been an actor for 13 years, actually made me double down and helped me to write this book because I realized that I look nothing like Erma Bombeck. I don't sound like her. But how could I capture her grace, her humor, her wisdom? How could I trust my collaborators? Because no one-woman show is a one-woman show. It's a group of people making an experience for an audience. And how could I stand in the back backstage and make sure that I was making a difference for my audience with the story I was going to share?
It changed my life to do this. We've been lucky enough to travel all around the United States, playing this iconic woman. In that journey, I've doubled down on my Edge model to create possibilities and believabilities.
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A graphic includes four photos. In the top left, sunlight streams through forest trees, behind the word "Explore." In the top right, the word "Dream" hovers over a star, shining down upon a planet or moon. In the bottom left, a smiling woman pots indoor plants behind the word "Grow." In the bottom right, a crowd of people raise their hands in the air behind the word, "Excite."
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So to take you through it so you can understand some of the skills from Play You, I wanted to share what the Explore part is.
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A hot air balloon floats behind Text, Explore, Know Your Character. (copyright) Pam Sherman, 2026. ThePamSherman.com.
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By exploring and knowing your character and going on a journey of self-awareness, you need to decide who am I at the core from the very beginning. So it's a very brief exercise that I like to do that gives you what I call your power words. Your power doesn't lie in your title. It lies in who you are.
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Text, Your core defining word plus your character beliefs equals Power Words.
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So if you can think of one word that defines you at the core-- and there's only two rules. It can't be situational-- late, tired, hungry. And your friends and family would have to agree with you because there's always someone who says they're inspirational, and everyone in the back of the room is saying, that's not the word I would use.
And you also have to articulate what I call your character beliefs. These are your core values. What's important to you? Because all of these power words are going to shape your behavior.
I'd like to share with you my power word. It's something I live by. And it really, it came to me because someone gave it to me. It's energy.
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Lightning flashes behind the word "Energy." Text, (copyright) Pam Sherman, 2026.
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When I show up, paying attention to my power word, that's when I can make a difference, truly, for others.
And in doing this exercise, all around the world, it's so interesting. Only two people have ever said this word, leader.
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The word "Leader" appears on a blue background.
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One was a 21-year-old intern-- I was so proud of him-- in San Francisco. And the other was a leadership developer for a very large Fortune 50 company. Each of them said, I see myself as a leader.
But I would posit that every word that you pick as your power word is synonymous with leader, whether that word be caring, kind, resilient, curious. The word is yours. And to me, this is what leadership looks like. It looks like you.
My definition of leadership, which has really defined the work that I do, is this.
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Text, Leadership, noun.
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It's the ability to communicate a vision and gain commitment to it. It's about meeting hearts and minds in the moment. And everyone at every level can be a leader if they have a vision, they can articulate it and they can gain followership. You can have a vision for your day, for your project, for your team, for your career.
So I like to say that leadership-- and this is a great quote from Donald McCannon-- is about behavior, not position.
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In a Newton's cradle, balls transfer energy from one another as they strike. Quote, Leadership is action, not position. Donald H. McCannon.
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And to that end-- and this is me doing what I call my power pose for confidence before I jumped on stage every night--
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Pam stands up straight with palms raised high overhead behind text, Explore: Leadership Behavior. (copyright) Pam Sherman, 2026.
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you have to pay attention to your behavior. It's not enough to explore your power words. You have to see how it shows up in your voice and body language.
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Clouds surround the phrase, "Dream Big."
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The dream part is about understanding that visualization is a skill set, one that you have to exercise and a muscle that's important as you traverse your career, your business and even your personal life. And I like to say that a dream is a story that just hasn't happened yet, so you get to write it.
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The quote covers a stack of books.
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As an actor, as a leader, understanding the vision for my character, how I fit into the world of the play, how I fit into the world of my business, my community, even my family is critically important to articulate and share.
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At sunset, a surfer walks down the beach, alongside a raised boardwalk to the right. Text, Craft your vision story.
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I do a lot of work around vision and vision work. And it's really just a simple thing. Close your eyes. Imagine the hardest thing you have to do. Imagine that you've done it. How does it feel? What do you see? And in the end, what did you do to get there?
To understand that, you also have to understand the power of story and how important storytelling is to playing you, because it's through storytelling that we truly reach hearts.
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Hands cup an upside-down heart behind text, The Power of Story. Quote, Storytelling is a means for the transfer of energy. George Saunders.
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Data doesn't move people, emotions do. And storytelling is the currency of emotion that really makes a difference for all of our audiences.
Whether you're leading a team, whether you're a community leader, or whether you're just trying to get your four-year-old to understand your family and the values and the legacy of where he came from, storytelling is a means for the transfer of energy. To do that, you have to understand what I you’re your throughline.
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A rope ties onto a dock's cleat hitch behind text, (copyright) Pam Sherman, 2026. Story sharing: What's your throughline?
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I was just listening to Alfre Woodard, who's a great actress on a wonderful new show. And I love that she said, as a great actor, to be believable, I have to understand the stories of my character's past because it is those stories of the past that illuminate our path to the future.
A great leadership professor at the Harvard Kennedy School is Marshall Ganz. He says, we need to know only three stories-- the story of self-- who are you, and what's important to you? The story of us-- what's the story of your collective, your team, in any shape and form, that really can help inform that team and understand the shared beliefs and values?
And then this one is my favorite-- the story of your call to action, the story of now. You've got to know the stories of the past that will help you meet the story of the future, because everything you've ever wanted to do, you've probably done in some shape or form before. So telling that story of now is critical to get people to follow you.
The grow part is-- this is that edge part, obviously.
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A man with a briefcase walks on a tight rope beside text, Grow.
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Do one thing every day that scares you. Thank you, Eleanor Roosevelt. She was terrified of public speaking. And yet, when I think of Eleanor Roosevelt, I think of how her voice changed the world.
When we grow, we have to grow beyond what I call our believability derailers. You may do all this incredible work, and you understand who you are, what's important to you, how you want to show up for your audiences, what's the dream that you want to share out loud, what's the stories you want to share with them. But often, we are met with an inner narrative that might hold us back.
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Smiling professionals engage in conversation behind Text, (copyright) Pam Sherman, 2026. PamSherman.com. Meet the Archetypes. The Imposter. The Perfectionist. The Performer.
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I call these our archetypes. The bad guy in the movie that somehow is always getting in the hero's way? Well, hello, imposter, my old friend. I personally can share more about this because there's an imposter voice that's often inside my head. The perfectionist is the person who feels that they can't show anything, show their work, do anything until it's perfect, which, really, is going to kill innovation, creativity.
The performer thinks they have to be perfect also, but they show up with no vulnerability, no humanity. And, in many ways, they are amplifying their believability gap by showing up as a performer so that people don't believe them.
The way to counteract this is-- I love this-- by rehearsing you, not to become someone else, but to be more intentional, to quiet the inner narrative, identify your narrative and create a new one for yourself.
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A body of water carves through grass-covered mountains behind Text, (copyright) Pam Sherman, 2026. ThePamSherman.com. Rehearse You. Not to become someone else. To become a more intentional version of yourself.
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To rehearse you, you have to be fully present. You have to really connect and go back to that behavior that will help you amplify your believability.
And I like to say, you have to overcome some fear. Often, the biggest thing that holds us back from being ourselves is fear.
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A man leaps from one cliff to another behind Text, (copyright) Pam Sherman, 2026. ThePamSherman.com.
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And I learned long ago that courage-- and I think it was Nelson Mandela who said this-- isn't the absence of fear but going forward and doing it anyway.
This was a quote from a great acting teacher. There's scared and you do. There's scared and you don't. You're going to be scared anyway, so you might as well do. I actually used this on my kids when we were growing up. But I use it for myself.
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Text, Be Fearce.
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I've decided to rewrite the word fierce, F-I-E-R-C-E, because telling someone to be fierce doesn't necessarily help them. But if they really want to move beyond their derailers, I'd say, put "fear" in the word, and be aware of it, and move beyond it. So you might as well be “fearce.” One day, I'm going to trademark that term.
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A man pulls on ropes attached to a curtain, revealing text, Excite: Break through the Fourth Wall. (copyright) Pam Sherman, 2026.
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Finally, our job is to break through the fourth wall. I don't know if anyone's a fan of all the television shows that talk to the camera, and you feel like the person is talking to you. If you break through the fourth wall, you're doing the most important thing. You're understanding that who you are and how and why you're trying to be believable is all for your audiences.
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In a black and white photo, smiling people in a movie theater wear 3D glasses. Text, Photography: The National Archives, United Kingdom, Pete Souza. Your Audiences.
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There's a great quote from another leadership expert that I admire, Frances Frei. She opened her book with this. "Leadership, it's not about you." And that's the first thing that I learned in that acting studio, that it wasn't about me. It was about shining the light on my scene partner, on my audience, on my fellow actors and all those who are going to make magic happen. When you do that, hmm, you get raving fans.
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In a black and white photo, young women in the front row of an event cheer, clap and film with their phones. Text, Photography, The National Archives, United Kingdom, Pete Souza.
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So my hope for all of you is that you will ignite your leadership, that you will explore who you are, dream, and make a difference with those dreams, grow beyond your derailers, and truly ignite your audiences by playing you.
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A QR code appears. Text, (copyright) Pamela 2026. Pam Sherman. QR Code for more information about Pam Sherman and Play You, the Role of a Lifetime. At The Pam Sherman. www.ThePamSherman.com. Logos, Linked In, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube.
(SPEECH)
I wanted to share at the end; this is a way that you can stay in touch with me. This gives you information to a newsletter I write every month about my work. And we also have past Suburban Outlaw columns there, which are super fun to read. But most important, I want to hear how you are playing you in your life, in your community and how you're making a difference for those you wish to impact, lead and serve. Joan, I can't wait to start our conversation. And I thank you all so much for this opportunity to share a little bit more about The Edge.
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Joan appears in split screen beside Pam.
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JOAN: Pam, thanks so much. Your story is genuinely remarkable. I love the picture of you in the 1980s suit there with your perm in your hair and realizing you're not going to be a lawyer, you're going to be an actress and making it happen. So I really love the book. But let's dive in because I have a lot of questions, and I know our audience does too.
So let's start with career advice because I know so many people in our audience are navigating big questions about their future, maybe pivoting, reinventing themselves or about being seen at work. So you went from being this lawyer to becoming an actress, and a columnist, and a leadership coach. So I think a lot of people listening right now have felt that pull, a sense of maybe that the work isn't quite right. It's really not who they are. And then maybe they're not doing what they should be doing. They may feel stuck. So what do you say to someone who is sitting on a dream, but is terrified to make a move?
PAM: I think incremental steps. I didn't jump off and become a working actor. And I do think-- I like the idea that our dreams are great, but we also have to adjust them for real life. And that's a really, I think, important thing to think about.
One is take a class, find a community. If you have a dream, there are people who share your dream where you live. And I would say, it's got to be incremental change. I have a throughline I like to say for myself about the choice was not about playing me. As an actor, that was very satisfying. But I knew that I wanted to make a difference for others. And that's part of my why.
So do the work on yourself. Understand who you are and what your purpose is. Understand that your mission right now might be doing the right thing for your family, for your community, for your team. But explore those dreams.
And I also like to say, bring your dreams into your work. If your dream is to become an incredible event planner, help to make a difference for your fellow teammates by forming a day where you meet in person. If your dream is to make a difference in community, make sure that as a team, you can all show up for your community. There are great ways to do that. I think you can recalibrate your dream for real life.
JOAN: That’s really-- I like the incrementalism because you don't need to change who you are overnight or what you want to do overnight. I think incremental change is a great, great first step. So what about people who are struggling with really knowing who they are? And they may feel a bit lost, like they're lost in their mojo or something, sense of purpose. How do you help them?
PAM: I do get that question a lot, can you help me find my mojo? And I'm like, it's still there. You're just not paying attention to it.
I think when we really think about our core-- and there's great exercises in the book about your why, I call it, which is your purpose statement, your mission, which are your behavior drivers. How do you behave consistent with that? Well, suddenly what happens is you know who you are, and you have to consistently put that out in the world. Your mojo isn't something that's out here. Your mojo is in here. Who you are is unique. You may share a core-defining word with someone you know, but it's your version of it. So we double down on those power words, but we also then take it a step further. I call it your power on a Post-it Note.
I have a lot of clients who I need them to pay attention to these words. So we actually build out-- I call it the Mad Libs of mission statements. We take all those words; we put them in a sentence. And then I say, put it on a Post-it Note and put it on your computer so it reminds you every day.
We also do the hard work of journaling. There's a lot of journal exercises that-- I really want people to get the hardcover of the book so that they can write in it. This is a book that I want people to choose their own adventure. But by journaling every day-- how did I show up with my power? How did I show up with my character beliefs? How was I consistent with my mission? That's where you start to-- just like any other exercise, Joan, you build the muscle of mojo, and you start behaving in a way that's consistent with who you are and, most important, how you want to be in the world that ignites your audiences.
JOAN: So let's pivot to coaching because you coach a lot of people in Fortune 50 companies, law firms. I love the Department of Justice. I did not know that story, the Department of Justice asking you to come help their lawyers find their mojo. And did you do it, by the way?
PAM: I did. We had a number of classes. It was super fun. We did improv exercises. I still have the thank-you note because it meant so much to me to be an ex-lawyer to go in and really discover, how can I make this fun, interesting, but also have valuable takeaways that people could use? Because fun and interesting is great. Forced fun is great, but it's not going to change how I show up. And for me, I think about that impact being lasting. So I'd like to think some of those lawyers still use the tools.
JOAN: So regardless of the industry, Pam, what is the single most common career struggle that you see?
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Pam glances off to the side.
(SPEECH)
PAM: Oh, it's so interesting. Thinking that you can't possibly do it like the person who was either ahead of you or who was in the role before. I can't do it like them. I hear that a lot. Either they were somebody great, and you want to replicate what they did. Or they were someone not so great, and everybody's so grateful you're in the role. But you still feel stymied by showing up because you think you have to have been perhaps more directive because that person was.
I would say, 100%, it's having the confidence to step into roles where you might not know everything but being willing to learn. I do think the leap from sole contributor-- and I think individual contributors are very important, but to managing others is also a particularly difficult transition. And recognizing that leading a team is a huge responsibility and an honor, and making sure that you're building trust with your team is probably the second biggest thing.
JOAN: Awesome. I want to talk about something that I've struggled with throughout my career, which is imposter syndrome. So how does the actor mindset specifically address that inner critic within us-- the voice that says, I don't belong here, what am I doing here?
PAM: And I will say, it comes to me as well. And people are shocked by that. They can't believe I get nervous before I go on. I'm like, that's good anxiety. It actually helps. I think it's good.
But imposter can actually stop you. It stops you from going for the next role. It stops you from leading in your agency. It stops you from-- When it's a syndrome, that's something I think that is persistent and something you need to pay attention to.
So I like to name my imposter and have a conversation with my imposter. I'm not kidding. I do have an inner narrative. And I do a lot of work on that before I get up on stage. Whether I'm speaking to 5,000 people or one, there's always going to be that inner voice. And you have to quiet and say, I'll see you later because, right now, I have something to do.
The other thing I tell my clients who feel the impostor is getting in the way is, well, guess who you're thinking about when you're thinking about your impostor? You're thinking about you. And remember what I ended with? It's not about you.
The minute you shift to what my audience needs, what benefit will they gain from me, what do I want them to think, feel and do, well, suddenly, you stop thinking about yourself. Your imposter dissipates. It's only when we're ruminating by ourselves that the imposter can take over. But when we shift to really thinking about our audience and what's important to them, I think that quiets the imposter down.
JOAN: I like that. That's awesome. So let's shift and talk about remote work. In today's workplace, a lot of us spend-- including our webinar series-- in virtual meetings, and on Zoom, and on Teams. So how does the remote work environment impact believability and connection? And how can we overcome this, Pam?
PAM: First of all, cameras on. I know there's a lot of people with young children, dogs. It's difficult. But I think if we all agree, OK, we're going to create a standard that once a week, we have a team meeting, and your camera needs to be on, I think that really makes a difference to growing energy in the room. I think as a leader, if you're leading teams, finding a way to create connection, whether it be a communication starter-- we won't call it an icebreaker because people don't like those. I love them. I love a good icebreaker. But being really intentional about how we meet virtually can really make a difference.
Third, I would say, find a time to travel together if you can, if it's possible. I know a lot of my clients are doing Monday through Wednesday, Tuesday through Thursday, creating bottleneck traffic jams in cities that are unexpected. And for me, recognizing that who you are virtually is who you are actually.
Joan, can I tell you a story about this? The best story. I went to meet a client that I was going to work with, and I had to drive two and a half hours because I felt it was really important to meet with them in person before I facilitated this retreat. And I was hot. I was tired. I put myself together. I did my power pose in the restroom.
And I walked in the room. And they said, you're exactly the same in person as you are on Zoom. It's the greatest compliment I think I could get. So, I have a really dear friend who wrote a great book called Bring Your Human to Work. Her name is Erica Keswin. And I-- and she has a lot of ideas of how to really make a difference in the workplace so that hybrid doesn't have to be energy-depleting but can be energy-creating.
JOAN: Well, I feel the energy of you coming through my monitor, Pam. And I always have, whether you're in person or Zoom. So in the book, you talk about the idea of showing up one way at work and then another way in real life, and that gap between our personal, and professional, and authentic selves. So I want to add, also, maybe showing up differently in social media. So is that OK? Or do we want to close the gaps of how we're showing up in different places?
PAM: Yes, I absolutely think you should close the gaps. I think the consistency creates trust. You have to really be thoughtful of how you want to put yourself out in the world. And now we have so many platforms, including, my AI avatar that might come into play. I think people need to want to trust you. And so you get to decide how you're perceived, and you have to be consistent in that, Joan. I think that's a really good question.
And I know that people say, well, you can put social media on private. But this is a generous view of how you want to show up. And so you have to be thoughtful about all your audiences, wherever they may be. The tagline for my work is really about, be who you are wherever you are in order to ignite your audiences. So you don't want to be one way on social media, another way on LinkedIn and another way in-- and I also think at home, it's really interesting.
We talked a lot around the dinner table about values. I mean, my son wrote his college essay on how we treat our family like a Fortune 500 company, but it was in the good way, in the best possible way, like the Travelers, and in the way that we showed up consistent with values. We discussed what values were important to us. And how do we show up that way? And I think that really create that consistency, isn't-- it would be really uncomfortable to have to be somebody else. And I talk a lot about that in the book because when we pretend for a long time, that can just be energy-depleting and doesn't help us show up in the best possible way for all the audiences we wish to serve.
JOAN: I really love that, Pam. Be who you are in every setting, right?
PAM: Absolutely.
JOAN: So, I want to go back to the book. So you talk a lot about acting and acting techniques woven throughout. You've used this to help people in better versions of themselves in your business. And frankly, anybody who's talked to Pam or just been on this call for a half an hour can see how her advice could boost/impact confidence and connect better. So what was your aha moment on this when you realized that acting was the key?
(DESCRIPTION)
Pam grins.
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PAM: Well, it was funny because I will say, I was leading a bit of a double life when I say incrementalism. When I went back to that acting studio, I started auditioning for parts in Washington, D.C. There's a great community play called Hexagon that makes a difference for charity. I would go from a deposition to an audition. Somehow, I was still able to bill all the hours I needed to. But it was through all that work of playing an actuary and then playing a mom that I realized it really was about being me.
And if you think about the best actors, yes, there are the people who completely get subsumed by hair and makeup, but they really are showing who they are. That's shining through. My favorite actors do anyway.
So for me, that aha moment came in doing the work. But I will say it also came in understanding the difference between authenticity and believability. And I'm sure we'll talk about this. But when I was trying to just be authentically me, again, that was just about me. But when I started really being-- listening and curious, that's what great actors do. You'll hear from a great actor, wow, he was so generous. He was such a great listener. That was an aha moment for me. Stop talking, Pam. Really listen to what people are saying to you.
JOAN: An actor has a voice and body language on stage. So what are some of your tips for us in the business world? Because this is applicable, too, to the business world when you're in a meeting. And a lot of people I know who have commanded the most respect in meetings talk very softly. And I talk very loudly and very aggressively, mostly. But what about body language and voice? Give us some of your tips for both.
PAM: Well, a lot of my clients, I'll say, hmm, this might make you feel a little self-conscious because I don't want you-- once you get into the room, stop paying attention to it. But I do think it's important that your voice is your own. I'm not a big fan of this concept of find your voice. We all have one. We just need to use it in the appropriate way, in the moment, contextually for our audience.
So I love my quiet leaders. Also, a great book, Quiet by Susan Cain-- it's something that I recommend to my introverted leaders. I said, when you speak and your voice shows up, people will listen because you're contributing something.
And I had a leader that I actually coached, a story from the book, who wouldn't-- I don't want to add anything. I don't speak unless I have something to add. I said they need to hear the sound of your voice, A, so they know you're there and, B, even if it's just to say, yes, I agree. And I got this person to practice contributing because eventually they got comfortable contributing in the way they were going to.
As for body language, I'm a big fan of understanding-- particularly on Zoom, I stand. I'm a big believer. I'm not standing right now.
JOAN: We wouldn't let you stand, Pam. Sorry.
[LAUGHTER]
PAM: Well, it's funny because I found out just a few weeks ago from another webinar that no one knew I was standing even though I was standing up, because it looks exactly the same. So you may not have to-- there's just no chair behind me. I don't know if they thought I was sitting on a stool.
But I do think it's really important to think about your body language. I don't want it to be practiced and rehearsed. I'm a hand user. I have clients who say to me, what do I do with my hands? I don't know. What do you do when you're telling a story around the dinner table with your hands? I don't want you to sit on your hands. I'm not that kind of coach. I want you to bring who you are. And if your hands are distracting, well, that's about your audience. And maybe just make a choice. Use them less. But I want you to feel comfortable with who you are-- again, always in service of this generous interplay of you and those you want to make a difference for.
JOAN: OK. Let's go to leadership and talk about that specifically. So in your observation, all the leaders you've met with around the world and coach, what separates a leader who is technically skilled and qualified to be that leader from one who is truly influential? And I think this is key because if you don't have people that you feel like you're an influencer versus just a technocrat in your job, what separates those leaders?
PAM: Well, it's so interesting because a lot of leaders that I work with who are moving into higher levels-- those technical skills are what got them there. But it's another great quote from Marshall Goldsmith. It won't keep you there. And it won't get you beyond because, ultimately, leadership, I believe, is about trust and the ability to be persuasive and to be believable.
You've got the credibility part. Everybody knows you can do the doing. Leadership is knowing when to zoom out, being there for your team, empowering your team, and building trust that if they fail, they're failing forward, and you're giving them the opportunity to course correct, and you're guiding them. It truly is a very--
But you'll note my definition of leadership is about the ability to communicate a vision and gain commitment to it. So you've got to have a vision for your team. And a lot of people say, well, the vision comes from the CEO. Of course, but the CEO wants to make sure that you, as the leader, can make that vision come to life because the CEO puts out the larger vision. Then you have to put out the vision of how we're going to accomplish it.
And I think there's two things. One is trust. And I think the other one is personal accountability. As a leader, you have to not only be accountable for your team, but you have to be accountable for your behavior. And that behavior makes all the difference in the world.
JOAN: OK, so you talk a lot about "owning the room," quote/unquote. That phrase can feel really intimidating or even off-putting to people who don't think of themselves as big personalities. So what does owning the room actually mean? And is it available to those introverts out there?
PAM: It is. Oh, my gosh. I love when I'm working with a large group, and I get them to stop, stand still in a large group of their colleagues, and literally say out loud, I own this room just the way they would. So that's a really powerful exercise. My owning the room isn't I own the room and you don't. It's we own the room together. And that was really hard to do with lawyers, Joan, [LAUGHS] or anybody who doesn't understand that owning the room is bringing everyone into what you have to offer. It's really about breaking through that fourth wall.
And when you, even as an introvert, or even as the most junior person on the team, realize you need to own the room for your role, for who you are in that moment, I have to make a difference for my colleagues, I'm learning. Owning the room can be asking a question and not being afraid to ask it. So owning the room isn't, I'm standing on stage.
I always like to play the game of who owns the room right now. I mean, not me, just because I have the microphone.
(DESCRIPTION)
Joan nods.
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We own the room together, Joan, because we're in conversation to make a difference for everyone who's on this webinar.
JOAN: I love that, love that. Let's talk about the word "authentic," because that word almost becomes meaningless in certain circumstances.
(DESCRIPTION)
Pam nods as she sips from a water bottle.
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What does authentic leadership actually look like in practice through your lens and what you've seen?
PAM: I really think authenticity is important, but it's the first step. That's basically self-awareness. I know who I am. I know what's important to me. And I want to follow through on that.
And if you look at emotional intelligence, there's self-awareness and then self-management. How do I behave in a way that's consistent with who I am? But if you don't do the other parts, which is relationship awareness, what's important to you, and relationship management, how do I connect with you, make a difference for you, lead you, serve you, impact you, well, then you're all by yourself.
So the difference between authenticity and-- I mean, I'll have clients say to me, my core defining word is authenticity. And I'm like, well, authentically what? Are you authentically generous? You've got to go one beyond that because authenticity, by definition, is just being true to who you are. But you need to know what that means.
So I think, for great leaders, they move beyond authenticity to really have understanding, generosity and believability. And they care deeply about their audiences and the difference that they want to make. And so that's why leadership-- remember, you've got to communicate, and you have to build followership. And it's committed followership.
Joan, if we think about what we're committed to in our life, it's our community, our family, our spirituality. And what are we committed to in business? Our colleagues, our mission, our investors, all the audiences for our business, the clients and the customers that we serve, especially in the insurance industry.
A story about that is when my father-in-law's store burnt down many, many years ago, the most important person he called the next morning after looking at this loss that was really life-changing was his insurance agent, who made all the difference in the world for him. So when you think about that, that insurance agent had to show up with care and empathy. That's believability beyond authenticity.
(DESCRIPTION)
Joan nods.
(SPEECH)
JOAN: Love that. Absolutely love it. We've been talking about very positive energy, Pam, for the last, I don't know, 40 minutes. I want to go a little negative because I want to address something that can be damaging for people. So communication-- what is the most damaging communication habit you see leaders make and they're engaging in, the thing that quietly may erode trust and connection on their teams, because communication really can make or break how people are hearing you, right?
PAM: Yes. And, in this world of AI, we think we can solve it with our chatbot. But sometimes, you really do need to look people in the eye, be fully present. I think, No. 1, being fully present-- so many people are multitasking. They're doing other things.
Imagine walking in with a problem to your leader, and they're busy typing and doing something else-- so being fully present, truly listening, not listening for what you're going to say, but listen for what you're taking in. Trust is built through curiosity, asking great questions that can make a difference.
And then the final thing is reframing, as a leader, what can I do for you? And so I'm going to frame your negative with a positive. Sorry, Joan. It is really about-- Leaders often start with, this is what I need you to know. This is what we need to do, instead of thinking about, what's important to my audience? What's on their minds? What are they concerned about? When you start with that you, I like to say, feed their emotional need, then they're going to be more primed and ready to share with you, and listen to you and take your guidance.
JOAN: I like that. And you turned it right into a positive. Let's talk about another buzzword in the leadership world. It's vulnerability. So we're told to show vulnerability. But there's definitely a fine line there between that and maybe undermining confidence in your team. So how do you navigate being vulnerable?
PAM: I think I tell the story about the CEO kept crying and the challenge of that. And it was a very challenging time. Look, vulnerability for vulnerability's sake has gone wild. You do have to understand and meet your audience where they're at. Vulnerability, to me, if you can reframe it-- it's always a reframe-- is about honesty. You build credibility with honesty. But it's not about, again, being vulnerable. It's about sharing your heart but also giving it context.
I get a lot of leaders who tell me, I don't want to tell a personal story. It's work. But can you tell a story from work where you learned a lesson? That's vulnerable. Can you tell a story where you failed and you had to build resilience? Vulnerability is a wide range of behaviors, and it's not just crying.
JOAN: Yeah, the crying thing-- someone should write a book about people who cry at work. And I've done it.
PAM: I think I was quoted in an article in The New York Times about it in the middle of COVID. And it was like, yeah, it's great to be vulnerable, but you also have to meet your audience so that they can trust, you're my leader, and we're going to get through this together.
JOAN: Great, great. OK. Audience questions-- they have been pouring in, so we're going to rapid fire, Pam, try to get to as many as we can. "So if someone closes your book, having absorbed just one idea, what do you hope that idea is?" Great question.
PAM: I think it is about being who you are wherever you are in order to ignite your audience, and that it's not about you, that we need to work on generous characters who make a difference in the world. And for me, it's let's get started. I am so excited about this book finally being out in the world, Joan, after eight years that the concept of, OK, I'm going to do the work on myself and play myself for you-- that's something that I'm very excited about.
JOAN: I love it. I love it. OK, next question-- "Is there anything you learned about yourself in the process of writing this book?"
PAM: Well, that I could do it. It was really interesting. I learned that I'm a great collaborator. I needed to have collaborators to create the great book. And no, it wasn't just my husband who had to deal with me saying, I don't know what I'm going to write for Chapter 10.
I also learned about myself that I love research. I'm still a lawyer at heart. So the book is filled with research because I wanted to have proof points. Yes, acting, it's another way of thinking about things. It's very counterintuitive. But I also wanted to prove it with all of the incredible cognitive and psychological research that's out there. So I learned that I'm still a lawyer at heart. How's that?
JOAN: I love it. I have a son who's a lawyer. He would be very happy to hear that he can go into acting. But anyway, let's-- so OK, another question coming in, saying, "I love asking this question of people who had big, diverse, winding careers." Some people call it the jungle gym versus the career ladder. It's more of a jungle gym.
PAM: So true. Yeah.
JOAN: So this person says, "What do you know now that you wish you'd known at the beginning?"
PAM: That a career is a long journey and that where you are-- you can do anything for a period of time. I would-- do not regret at all the-- it was a good six and a half years and then law school on top of that that I spent as a lawyer. It gave me credibility, my good judgment. The law firm went out of business. It was a civil firm. I was doing employment law and civil litigation. And clients were calling me for my good judgment at a certain point. So all the skills that I learned there-- I think what I know now is there's no such thing as regrets. It's all what builds you into who you are.
(DESCRIPTION)
Pam smiles.
(SPEECH)
JOAN: This person asked, "The scary slide, I'm afraid to take any huge risks in my career. It's too scary." What do you say to them?
PAM: Well, yes. Thank you for noticing the scary slide. Well, my word, "fearce" is for you. And I think we talked about this step by step-- and raise your hand for something that feels doable. Maybe it's organizing something for your team. Maybe it's spending time as a mentor one on one. Really look within yourself, and I think you won't do it if you don't take the leap. I stood on the edge of a mountain, and I still can't go on a bunny hill. But still, I did that, and I'm glad I did.
JOAN: Awesome. All right, Helene from Massachusetts says, "What leadership behaviors build the strongest long-term trust within an organization?"
PAM: So I'm a big fan of Patrick Lencioni's Five Dysfunctions of a Team. I want to give a shoutout. But what people talk about are the dysfunctions. They don't think about the functions, which are you confront each other. You hold each other accountable. You focus on goals. Leaders who start with trust, building trust-- I want to get to know you. I want to know what you bring to the table. I want us to create a contract of trust with each other-- we’ll achieve all the other things.
And so I would say, No. 1, when working with teams-- and I was really proud. As I was working on this book, I realized I was missing a teams chapter-- teams that believe in each other. And when I say, get to know each other, know your core defining words together. Know what's important. When I have teams--
I love when I work with accountants and somebody says, humor. I'm like, yeah, humor. This is a group of funny accountants. What a difference. Or insurance agents-- I had an insurance agent that I worked with who was a great adventurer. And he said, I can't put risk-taking on my character beliefs. And I said, I want to know that you come back safe from your hikes and your mountain climbing. You do all the risk assessments that help you come back safely. So as a team, you bring that to the team and help them go farther together.
JOAN: Awesome, awesome. OK, Frank from Indiana, "Can you touch on body language changes a person can work on to display a healthy level of confidence, but not overdone?" Good question.
PAM: Oh, my gosh. Get to know your core. So Amy Cuddy, who I'm a big fan of, wrote a fabulous book called Presence. She wrote it so I don't have to. I highly recommend it. But you can watch her TED Talk. And some of her research is really-- anecdotally has been helpful to me.
I close my eyes. I stand up straight. I engage my core. And I make myself bigger.
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Pam lifts her arms high.
(SPEECH)
For me, Joan, I can't sing, but I pretend that I can sing, and I'm standing center stage. This is my power pose. I do it all the time. And just that standing up straight and thinking of a time I felt powerful actually changes my body language. And it makes me show up differently for the difficult conversation I have to have with a teammate or the challenging news I have to give a client. It really does make a difference. And given there's so many of you out there who are working with teams, sometimes it's literally just adjusting yourself in the moment so that I'm really there for you.
JOAN: OK. Another question-- Andrew from Connecticut, "Is there a way to boost confidence before speaking publicly?" You said you get nervous? I get nervous. I get nervous before every webinar. Am I going to do the right thing? Am I going to screw it up?
(DESCRIPTION)
Pam clenches her fists and grins.
(SPEECH)
How do you boost your confidence before you get on, besides your pose? We know about the pose. But what other techniques maybe that people can employ?
PAM: Know your stuff. I mean, you have the ability to practice. Zoom is a gift. You can record yourself. I think if you have a really important presentation-- I go for runs. Well, I used to run. Now I'm walking. But I go for a walk, and I bring an index card with me of my bullet points, so I know what I want to-- what are the important points I want to make.
The more prepared you are-- I have so many clients who are like, well, I'm just going to wing it.
(DESCRIPTION)
She winces and shrugs.
(SPEECH)
The best way to build your confidence and deal with stage fright is know what you're going to give your audience.
JOAN: OK. Anne from Texas-- she's looking for pointers on how to work a room. I love this question.
PAM: I used to do this when I started my business almost 20 years ago. Of course, law firms were the first places that hired me. And we would do pretend networking. My job was to help the lawyers. One client said to me, do what you do, the way you ask people questions, and you wait to hear the answer. So we did this thing where it really was about the winner was the person who found out the most about someone else.
Here's how you work a room. Be interested. Then know your core defining word. So that-- I love to be the kickoff speaker of a large conference. When everyone knows their core defining word and you're standing at the buffet, you start talking about that. And tell stories. Be prepared.
I actually have a chapter about an introvert who got to be with the CEO as they were going to ring the bell in the Stock Exchange. And she's like, what am I going to talk about at dinner? And I said, well, first, you ask questions and then share a story. Stories are a currency that creates connection.
JOAN: All right. This is a perfect follow-up. Kelsey from Montana says, "What is the best question to ask someone when trying to strike up a conversation?” What is the best question?
PAM: Do not say, tell me about yourself. That's the thing that stymies everybody, I think. I think it's, first, what brought you here? Why are we here together? Which I think is really important.
I just came from a conference of venture capitalists, entrepreneurs, all working in the tech space. And so the question I ask is, what's on your mind these days? And it was-- it really was unbelievable. I learned so much about something that I don't know a lot about. I sometimes ask-- honestly, where are you from is a great opener because-- is it Kelsey or Chelsea from Montana? I love that.
I don't know a lot about Montana. I've actually been there, but I would love to know more. What brought you there? Are you from there? People love to talk about their communities, so those two things .
JOAN: I love that. I love that. It's Kelsey. OK, last question, Pam, and then we're going to wrap it up. And I can't believe how fast the hour flew. Lydia from California-- "What do you think about the adage, quote, fake it till you make it? Do you think that works and all that it boils down to or not?"
(DESCRIPTION)
Pam shakes her head.
(SPEECH)
PAM: No, I think do the work till you make it. I used to-- This is so funny. Remember the When Harry Met Sally movie and the famous scene? And I realized what she was trying to do was to be believable in that moment. And you can all go look it up later. I think that is-- I think faking it till you make it drains your energy, and it's hard to do. It's hard to sustain. Yes, do you have to energize yourself? Do you have to give yourself a mantra? Do you have to-- But that's all the work of really being believable. So as you can imagine, if believability is important to me, if you playing you and showing up in the best possible way for all your audiences, no. We know when actors are faking it. We know when people around us are faking it. We want them to be truly who they are in the best possible way so we can all shine in the rays of each other.
JOAN: Pam, this was fabulous, my friend. Thank you for coming on our show. It's exactly, I think, what a lot of people needed to hear. It's just honest advice. And everyone can do this, right?
PAM: Everyone.
JOAN: Everyone's got this. So I love “do the work.” I love that because I think those who don't do the work don't get rewarded. So I get it. Play You, the Role of a Lifetime is available now. We'll drop the link in the chat if you haven't already gone to Amazon to get the book.
And to our audience, thank you for joining us.
(DESCRIPTION)
Text, Wednesdays with Woodward (registered trademark) Webinar Series. Take our Survey, Link in Chat. Logos, Travelers Institute (registered trademark), Travelers.
(SPEECH)
Please take a minute. Please take one minute to write one sentence about today's-- in the survey in the chat. We just put it in the chat there. Please give me one sentence on maybe what you'd like to see coming up.
But our upcoming webinars are going to be great.
(DESCRIPTION)
In a photo, Marisa DiNatale smiles beside Text, Upcoming Program. July 15, A Tale of Two Economies with Marisa DiNatale of Moody's. Register, travelersinstitute.org. Logos, Travelers Institute (registered trademark), Travelers.
(SPEECH)
July 15, we have one of Moody's economists on talking about the economic outlook, energy prices, labor market, interest rates and more. And please visit us at travelersinstitute.org.
(DESCRIPTION)
Text, Watch travelersinstitute.org. Linked In, Connect, Joan Kois Woodward. Travelers Institute Risk and Resilience. Listen wherever you get your pods. Logos, Travelers Institute (registered trademark), Travelers.
(SPEECH)
And then, of course, we hope you have a relaxing summer. We have a huge schedule for the fall. And our programming is well underway for that. So, Pam, my friend, thank you again.
PAM: Thank you so much for having me. This was really fun.
JOAN: All right. Guys, we will see you in a few weeks. Please stay safe out there.
(DESCRIPTION)
Joan smiles and waves. Logos, Travelers Institute (registered trademark), Travelers. Text, travelersinstitute.org.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Summary
What did we learn? Here are the top takeaways from Take the Stage: Leadership Confidence That Builds Trust and Connection:
Exploring who you truly are is the first step toward “playing you” in your career and life.
You can start building self-awareness with this simple exercise: Identify your power word. “Think of one word that defines you at your core,” Sherman said, adding that she recommends avoiding situational words such as “late,” “tired” or “hungry,” and that your family and friends should agree with your choice. This approach shares similarities with acting, she said. “Understanding the vision for my character, how I fit into the world of the play, of my business, of my community and of my family, is critically important to articulate and share,” she said. Watch at 11:30
Embracing incremental change is key to making a career move, reinventing yourself or pursuing a dream.
For example, Sherman took an acting class to feed a childhood dream while still working as a lawyer at a large firm. “Dreams are great, but we also have to adjust them for real life,” she said. Sign up for a workshop or join a community of people who share your dream, she suggested. You can also take your dream to work, she said. For example, if you dream of becoming an event planner, organize an event at work for your teammates. “You can recalibrate your dream for real life,” she said. Watch at 21:58
An actor’s mindset can help you manage impostor syndrome, which can undermine creativity and innovation.
You might want to think of your impostor as a character, “the bad guy in a movie who’s always getting in the hero’s way,” Sherman said. What can you do about it? First, you can give your impostor a name and have a conversation with it, she said, adding that she addresses that doubtful inner voice before going onstage, saying, “I’ll see you later.” Second, turn your focus away from yourself to your audience: “When we shift to really thinking about our audience and what’s important to them, that quiets the imposter down.” Watch at 28:08
Communication creates connection across environments, from in-person to remote work.
First, it’s crucial to be fully present, Sherman said, adding, “So many people are multitasking.” Next, truly listen without thinking about what you’re going to say next. Then, get curious. “Trust is built through curiosity, asking those great questions that can make a difference,” she said. Finally, for remote work, having one meeting a week with cameras on can help a team truly connect. “It really makes a difference in growing the energy in the room,” she said. Watch at 44:42
Closing the gap between your personal, professional and social selves can result in greater believability and confidence in all areas.
“Consistency creates trust,” Sherman said. “You have to be thoughtful about how you want to put yourself out in the world.” That includes your career, your personal life, social media and even new technology like AI avatars, she pointed out. One way to get authenticity across platforms is to focus on your core values, she said, adding that great leaders go even further. “To really have understanding, generosity and believability, they care deeply about their audiences and the difference that they want to make.” Watch at 31:08
Webinar resources
- Visit Pam Sherman’s website to learn more about her and sign up for her newsletter.
- Follow and connect with Pam on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn®.
- Purchase your copy of Play You, the Role of a Lifetime by Pam Sherman.
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